captive audience

Lately all my friends are knocked up or engaged. Conversations tend to drift towards things to buy and a lot of advice on contraception and labor. I now understand why the Sex & the City girls were a group of four. They had no one else to talk to.

You can eliminate me with a single click here and no longer be the captive audience. I wanted to write how I feel more and more like I am living a secret life (yes, I know nothing you blog is secret.) The pregnant and married folk share life events in loud voices and big invitations. Single girls whisper over cocktails about dating, fears of using other people, fears of being used. It is a little seedy. Maybe this is why I am drawn to mysteries and thrillers lately. I am someone who should wear dark trench coats, chain smoke, and drink vodka. I just can't wear the stilettos and red lipstick that go with that outfit. We're all Keens and lipgloss here.

Fantasy Football

I bet those are 2 words you never thought I'd use together. Football is traditionally a topic I pretend to know a lot less about than I actually do. I've found that playing dumb is a fool proof way of avoiding long conversations about such things as why a coach is retarded or why a player is a loser. It's all bullyish talk that tends to come from men with beer guts who couldn't run a mile. That aside, I did sign on for a fantasy football league at school.

This raises the real question here-- what is your fantasy of football? In Hazel-land football games would always just last an hour. The cheer leading squad would be comprised of all of the players' parents. There would be additional points awarded for good sportsmanship. Included in the price of your ticket, you would be handed a hot pretzel and cocoa on your way into the game. People who loudly insulted players or refs would have to run laps during halftime. Halftime would always include a show with live animals, a singer songwriter, and taped highlights of the locker room pep-talk.

I'm guessing any male readers are not on-board at this point. At least stop to think about what your own fantasy of football is.

leaving the hamstead house

Tomorrow will be my last day living in this house. Things I will miss:
Having a great place to throw parties, the sound of someone coming through the door, a huge basement to store things, having a closet big enough to walk into, being very close to Garden of the Gods, living by my running partner, having a really nice kitchen.

On the upside, I look forward to:
Not wondering if roommate avoids being home, being lazy on occasion without feeling guilty, my new converter box, living close to my book club friends, not having to be fully dressed in case odd strangers drop by, living close to Memorial park, and walking downtown.

The new digs are The Cabin for now. I'll see if inspiration strikes to change the title.

practice what you read

Professor Doom and I were discussing the spiritual disciplines today. Kind of fascinating to read about but a lot harder to follow. Fasting, meditation, solitude. I think I already feel so strange and different walking through the world and speaking a different spiritual language. Everyone else at work talks about scrapbooking, their children's athletic futures, and foods you should be scared of. Then I cross into this different world with Christian friends about prayer and finding God's will. I talk to the smart ones, who tempt me to dip into the world of questions which usually makes me more odd and angst-filled. Then I date a Catholic, a boy with a biblical name whose origins I know more about than he does, and start conversing with someone who is spiritual but not religious. I'm a reluctant double-agent. This juggling makes me miss my college friends who were just as weird trying to fit all of their life pieces together.

Winds of Change

When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles. www.despair.com

pack rat

A whole day devoted to packing makes every decision seem big. Am I convinced enough that I can teach myself to love V-8 that I should pack that cans and not donate them? That was yes. Needless to say, I got bored enough of my own company that I went to get a pedicure as a perk-me-up. Moving is ugly business, which necessitated new toenails and later tonight a new hair color. I've started thinking crazy things like that I should get a perm to look more like Felicity and then I could throw away all my hair appliances. Forecast says it's an impulsive week for Virgos.

Also, dating makes me miss the sound of my own laughter.

cool

Yesterday I woke up a little drowsy. Not totally awake, I burned my forehead with a curling iron. Today I definitley look like a middle school girl who's new to the whole hair appliance scene. There's a big, angry mark on my forehead. Now do you feel better about your day?

self defense

A student of mine decked her ex-boyfriend at homecoming. I know I should be against such things, but I honestly was secretly cheering for her on the inside while I walked her down to in-school suspension. I feel bad admitting that sometimes there is a time to fight. It's funny because I don't enjoy kick-boxing since I can't seem to channel my inner street fighter.

I left work early. Home sick I felt guilty that I was too sick to be productive and not sick enough to be knocked out.

day in the life- found in old drafts

I know what my friends' job titles are, but if you asked me what they actually do hour to hour, I would probably be stumped. Here is a snapshot of a fairly typical day for me.

Wake up at 5:44 and leave for work, running late at 6:30. See student who is repeating his junior year in the hallway and stop to admire the political stickers he's created for his guitar. Call in a student to change his schedule. Student has said untrue things about the teacher to his parents, so I must place him elsewhere. Remind students in online classes that they still must submit homework. Meet with homeroom class to pick up their craft contributions for the homecoming float. A third have done their work. I will have to do the rest. Hear review of powderpuff game- bloody and exciting. Meet with a student's probation officer. Tell teachers about that student's traumatic brain injury. Meet with angery parent' Get asked to go observe his son in classes and email teachers to warn them. Meet with student whose mom is an alcoholic. Staff meeting. Yawn!!. Eat lunch with teachers and find out student I must observe doesn't bring pencils to class or take notes. Meet with parent about whether her son can graduate on time. Register a student who has been expelled from another school for dangerous threats. Try to minimize threat through picking nurturing teachers. Take call from parent who wants me to inpire his son to try harder. Take message about which calculator student should buy. Forward that to math dept. and hope family doesn't make me one-stop shopping. Talk to teacher who's worried a student is racist. Assure teacher that student tries to make provocative comments whenever there's a possibility for shock value. Haul supplies home to finish work for homecoming float.

I need a nap. And time with trees.

photo

I'm considering making yesterday's posted photo be my blog profile pic. i think it shows the inner me. Tonight I'm watching season 1 of Felicity. What would you do if you could start college over again? I would travel abroad more, dress better, stay up later, date more musicians, spend every summer in a different national park, and find a really cool internships.

introversion attack

I'm confessing this with the expectation that I will be scolded by you. I know. It's immature and irrational. I tried Community Bible Study tonight. We started late which involved a whole lot of awkward sitting around alone. Then the speaker got up and asked us to each pay $60 more to attend. The "young adults" 30 and under got excused to get to know each other and go have fun. The rest of us were herded into discussion groups. My group had 19. Is that really small? When asked our favorite thing to do, most women began with lament about having no free time. Yuck! I was told our community building would consist of potlucks with the other 150+ people there. Then we spent about 20 minutes discussing inclement weather and what to do in case of snow.

We were supposed to go back to a lecture, but I darted out. My introversion attacked in a huge way. I'm sure this is what I would have done on the first day of school in elementary every year if that had been an option.

Fall Resolutions

Other people set New Year's resolutions, but I'm more of a fall resolution setter. That's when I seem to have the most energy to throw myself into things. This is what I hope to begin:
1. Start Community Bible Study and be faithful in doing the homework.
2. Get to know older women in the church. I invited a few to join friends and I in cooking and discussion.
3. Help with prayer ministry at the church.
4. Keep running. Consider finding a Jazzercize class for alternate evenings. No- you didn't read that wrong. I feel nostalgic about days when working out was supposed to be fun, and it involved complicated outfits.
5. Get more involved at work- I'm now helping run football concessions.

Now it's in print, and I better follow through!

up and away

Tea helped me celebrate my birthday by joining me at a very early hour to watch the balloon classic. It was beautiful. She took good pictures if you get a chance to check them out. What a good friend!

I'm wrapping up plans for the Amazing Race, and this week feels like it will be a race to get there. I have football concessions to plan, race cards to create, a home owners policy to select, SS school to plan, and then an all-day home buyers workshop to attend. I need an intern.

Hope your labor day was relaxing. I'm off to another first date/interview. Ughhh...