What now?

If what you've tried hasn't worked, you're supposed to try new things. Yes?

I try to apply this logic to my dating life. This roughly means moving on to much older men, the recently divorced with kids plural, or felons. You must trust that I've tried a lot of other categories (divorced, Catholic, nothing in common with me, etc). So I'm corresponding with a 45-year-old. He's not a felon. And I have very mixed feelings. Are there other major categories I'm not considering? Is he sketchy if he's not looking at women his own age?

Where is the fine line between persevering and being a glutton for cliche, pathetic single scenarios? I hope I at least get credit for not owning a cat.

The Inner Evangelical

What do you get when you combine being slightly charismatic, pro-intellectual, having an evangelical background, and being a democrat? I'm convinced it's a frustrated Anglican or a secretive evangelical. My heart has been shrinking and burdened at the Anglican church trying to listen to sermons that discourage and have no linear progression. Revolting a little at the common saying that worship has nothing to do emotions. Sinking at the constant reminders that I'm a sinner and an American over-consumer. Frankly, usually a little bored.

So I strolled on over to a church in my neighborhood this morning. Among the hipsters with guitars and hair gel on stage old ladies danced in the front. The hour and a half passed quickly. I swayed and felt emotions. I didn't have to force the mumbling of another liturgical line. I didn't leave sad because I knew in advance I would be heading home to solitary lunch time. There also seem to be straight men in attendance who actually are involved in the church and in heavy lifting on behalf of others. I'm a sucker for that. Even if I can't share that I'm a big advocate of a national health plan. Shhhh....

For Olive and Tea

With vim that will suit for a cold Sunday night
We gather, their faces the source of good light

Pate down, hands busy to find Scrabble letters
I rive and I gather to make my thoughts better

Just questions, not bold to pronounce any answers
We hope to be prodigies, scholars, and dancers

One Olive of shaking and flame and aspire
One Tea of the rain and the quest (we conspire)

We will create more than the words that we'll gather
We'll carry the ponderances of all things that matter
This is the sum when the girls get together

Coming out of the polyester jungle

Whew! I made it through the week. Barely. Hosted by first big event with better-than-expected attendance. Stumbling into Blockbuster after work, I only had eyes for videos with beautiful fashion. Came home with Sex & the City and the first season of Mad Men. After the last few weeks I could go a very long time without seeing another printed polyester garment, sensible shoe or ankle tattoo. What have I become? And why is it so delightful to watch beautiful fashion while I sit around in my overalls? My weird indulgence. I never thought I cared about pretty clothes until they were gone and I missed them.

Young Life

When I first moved to CO I was a YoungLife leader on a crazy, disfunctional team. I left with a lot of hurt feelings, a sense of failure, and a reluctance to do anything in ministry. But now I feel called back.

This afternoon I met with an older couple who are area leaders for my school and got re-enlisted. They are the wise folks in charge, there are some very cute and perky young leaders who the kids will adore. I slide right in the middle as the volunteer to run the Bible study and help support the young female leaders.

God called Moses back to Eygpt. He called me back to YL. I hope this is the time I'm ripe to lead.

Being known

When friends show up at your doorstep with the following items, you know they know you pretty well. Yellow tea pot-candle-tequila-adventure magazine-golf supplies. It might not seem like it all fits, but it totally does.

This is the season for sitting outside by my fireplace and drinking wine. I have spent 2 evenings at this in the last week. I welcome fall with open arms.

Feeling uninspired to go to church alone or leave church alone, I took a pilgrimage up to the J. Crew outlet. Grey cords bought by my brother and boyfriend jeans I bought even though I should have waited until payday say Happy Fall to me. Hope your fall is off to a good start!