smells innocent to me

Yesterday I was searching for teeth. Today I got to smell students. When I saw a group of around 12 students I knew huddled outside my door, I knew there had been a smoking bust. Several claimed innocence and asked me to smell them and testify to their innocence. Pretending to be a police dog was the most exciting moment of my day.

Actually, there was another highlight. Another teacher saw I was a Calvin grad and asked me to join his philosophy club. I think I will be the lone girl among older men studying religious philosophy. I'm excited but again confirmed as to why I am too weird to get dates.

to high school football

Working in a school always brings new adventures, including today's quest for a lost tooth. In an elementary environment, this scenario would be about finding a spare that the toothfairy could compensate for. Unfortunately, at the high school level folks don't lose teeth unless someone has smacked it out their mouth. So this afternoon I found myself crawling around on the floor, searching under vending machines for a tooth. Its former owner had no concern with his broken thug smile. He just wanted to make it to the JV football game that afternoon, and though dizzy, thought he should just return to class.

A few hours later I was in the stands at the JV game watching the cheerleader who looked like she had been transplalnted from AV club right into the middle of an advanced line-dancing class. I don't think she managed to place a correct step throughout the game and was always on the verge of tears until the yelling portion that ended each cheer. Apparently what she lacked in coordination, she made up for in volume.

My formerly toothless friend wandered into the stadium for the last quarter after undergoing a root canal and getting a prothetic tooth. Forget Friday Night Lights. This is devotion.

thirsty

"...he who believes in me will never be thirsty." John 6:35
"Blessed are those who...thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." Matt 5:6

If I'm still thirsty, what am I not believing? I remember hearing a song with lines:
how can there be any hunger in me when you are the bread of life?
how can there be any darkness in me when you are the light of the world?
I think I've learned contentment in areas of my life--not wanting a different job, more money, better clothes. I just need to find a resting place in believing I will be approved of when I put my best food forward. that sounds like a belief that would quench thirst.

the what next

It was a wild night with the girlfriends. We went for a walk and then ate ice cream and fried foods from an outdoor vendor. This is a lot more me than anything involving the pressure to wear uncomfortable shoes or like vodka.

We were talking about our fantasy lives. Tea and Sympathy wanting to visit the great cities of the world with a man in spectacles, Vitamin Kimono wishing for a big garden, providing husband, and obedient children, and my wierd thoughts about capes and secret passageways that have replaced usual thoughts of an apple orchard, pet goat, and guitar-playing man hero. If any of us get married and procreate, will we sit be sitting around 5 years later and dreaming of being single? Some of my friends with families say they dream of being single, having their own place, and dating again.

popular fiction

I'm now reading Harry Potter like everyone else. I wish I had a school to ship off the kids with no money, no parental support, weird scars. They try to look magical with their black and pink hair, black nails, guyliner, and enlongating tight jeans.

I'm drawn to the fringey kids with all the imagination. The jocks who arrive to my seminar class are the ones who roll their eyes at me when I ask them to do ridiculous things like sit on the floor with everyone else. I'm upsetting the social order by not giving them preferential treatment.

If I was Hermione Granger, tonight I'd be able to see in the dark and go for a long, starry hike wearing a cape.

matching

It's an interesting business to be working in education and partially raising other people's children. I met a woman today who keeps giving her son money and can't understand how he's able to keep buying drugs. Curious. Then I attended a meeting about a student who tried to strangle another kid. I left an hour and a half into the meeting where no solutions had been offered. The other native Chicagoan in the room definitely looked antsy about the situation. We're do-ers more than talkers. Sneakers with skirts to get somewhere fast, strong coffee, fast/concise conversation. Her favorite time to get back to me is immediately. She may be my vocational kindred spirit.

me of little faith

I have returned from the wedding in better spirits than anticipated. There were only minor tears and minimal drinking. I think this is due to the community I walked among for the weekend. City's friends and family surrounded me like the hands of Christ. They fed and housed me. Their children clung to me. Women asked how I was doing and their husbands joked with me. They were beautiful.

This was a community originally built around people from suburbs who chose to move to the inner city and get involved with the poor. They were all leaving their families, so they created a new sense of family among the friends. They wake things up inside me. I need to think more about community and my resources.

There were tears shed over the fact that City and I are on different paths. Fortunately I had already done the grieving work and could arrive to celebrate seeing God's faithfulness to my friend in giving her someone who bakes, takes pictures, studies, fixes houses and makes her feel safe. It definitely helped that her mom kept reassuring me that God has someone for me too.