Advent candles

I asked a wise friend once what the colors of the advent candles signified with white, purple, and pink-- colors that don't remind me much of Bethlehem. He didn't have an answer but asked what I thought they should be. I was thinking yellow for the prophets since angels seem to appear with bright light. Moving on to Bethlehem, I would go for brown-- the color of long travel by donkey. For shepherds you could go green as they were hanging out in a field. White would be an obvious choice for the angel candle. The Christ candle could be gold.

Since I asked the question, Wikipedia has filled in the blanks on symbolism http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advent_wreath. What colors would you have chosen?

learning about cars

I just finished reading The Double Bind by Chris Bohjalian. Surprisingly well written. Makes you wonder where the line between creativity and delusion is. One of the better picks in this year of books.

I need to learn more about cars. It's a thing I intend to accomplish but never do anything about. At the Jiffy Lube a service guy was telling me I needed something, and I gave it my okay. He stepped into the garage, raised his fist and shouted, "yeah--I made a sale!" I told counter guy I changed my mind. How important are differential fluid and transmission flushes? Counter guy was kind enough to recommend another mechanic.

reconciling

I admit with some trepidation that I haven’t always loved men. I’ve been attracted to them. I’ve admired many. I’ve just also felt the need to compete and to hold a defensive stance. The gentle musicians, men of color, and gay men have been exceptions.

But now I feel like I’m finding more kindness in straight, white men. One of my fellow philosophy club members brought me an article today. They all listened to me and asked me to lead next time. A co-worker taught me a new game to play with my homeroom. A parent called with nice words. I don’t know if it’s been God’s provision to bring new men to me or His provision to change my heart towards them.

Tree of Compromise

Roommate, Me Gusto, and I reserved tonight for holiday tree trimming. It sounded tame, but I’m used to hauling out my box full of artificial tree limbs and assembling them according to directions for a realistic looking tree. Roommate does not go in for this, so we hopped in the car and headed for the market. I thought Roomy was joking when she asked what I thought of the largest tree on the lot that looked lush, so I said “good.” Oops! After some hauling and rope tying, the tree made it home. We spent the next 30 minutes sawing an inch off the thick truck with a saw that looked to come from a child’s play set. Then there was the tree stand juggle, with my cautious opinions of “maybe it’s not straight OR maybe the trunk is just crooked. You’re doing a great job!” Trimming became competitive as Gusto tried to fit as many ornaments as possible on the tree while Roomy tried to pack them back up quickly for fear of over-doing it. I chimed in that Christmas trees are no place for restraint.

I hope your decorating is going just as well. Cheers!

more on bad sweaters

Life Coach looked nervous and rehearsed when he asked me to attend his bad sweater party in a few weeks. Does he think I only attend events where I'm allowed to wear them? Maybe I should make that my new dress standard as an act of protesting men wearing pleated pants. Unfortunately, that event coincides with my parents visiting on the night we're going to a show.

countdown begins haltingly

Christmas season seems out of whack this year. I had my work holiday party before Thanksgiving. Today was a sunny, coatless day to ride around listening to Winter Wonderland. Yet roommate and I took the precaution of sealing off our windows with plastic for the cold. In Sunday school rather than the typical advent countdown, I was around for prayer week. The 3-5 year olds were helpful in advocating for themselves to the host teacher about the fact that they couldn’t read the words to the song and didn’t know how to adlib prayer. I’m thinking we should be making sheep ears and singing We Three Kings.

The Real Guy

misadventure in dating- forgot where i left off:
The middle school teacher I met today for coffee was pleasant--like talking to a stranger on an airplane. I was under no impression that we would ever meet again or having intersecting social circles. We just tried to pass an hour with cordial conversation. Absolutely nothing wrong with this one, just no connection. It's time for a match hiatus.

Saw "Lars and the Real Girl" tonight. It was imaginative, hopeful, and out-of-the-box. I cheered up. Maybe I will mail order a man made to my specifications and hope my friends and family will grow to love him. He'll look like Jack from Men in Trees

back to normalcy

By this morning I had an overdose of Ann Arbor family fun. I missed the Colorado sunshine, reading, time outside, quiet, and yes my friends-- this blog. I lack family spirit. That's hard to admid because it seems like a good thing. I can have the spirit for 3-4 days at maximum, but it dissolves when I get asked, "is there a reason you're not making circular pancakes?" (mine are round-ish for the record) or "Did you know that our 5-year-old son takes better photos than you do?" I'm glad at this moment to be back in my bed, nestled into the mountains again.

misadventure #5

This evening I was supposed to have coffee with a rental car manager named Jared. He was supposed to call but didn’t. Now I have time to knit!

The Good Pastor spoke this morning about the importance of rest and how we need that spiritually. It was so nice to get the permission to let busyness go. I want to be made to lie down in green pastures and have my soul restored.

Acquisitions

Tonight I find myself richer as I acquired a Hannah Montana set of hair extensions and a mug that looks like a gun at a white elephant swap.

At work we determined that I'm almost Amish. Evidence includes:
- Not having TV
- Knowing how to knit
- Wearing plain, dark clothing
- Going to a college with no greek system & fiercest rivals being the Flying Dutchmen
- I have never drunk from a keg
- I was not allowed to watch Dallas, 90210, or Melrose Place growing up
- Pacifist leanings
The combination of the above plus accounts that my brother and father wear matching plaid bowties have my friends confounded.

Misadventure #4

Tea provided sympathy tonight and brought back the happy.

Misadventures in dating #4:
A spiritual but not religious teacher emailed me. He's into yoga and eastern religion. I just had to be honest and say I was lonely for someone religiously similar. Now I've been invited to a dinner party to meet his roommate who is religiously similar. Last time they gathered, the theme was Italian food and bad sweaters. I am a huge fan of clever theme parties (never 80's or any decade--think festive holiday sweater competition!). He's a PK, and I'm hoping we get to swap fundamentalist parent stories.

Space

I'm feeling reckless and irresponsible tonight. This means I'm ignoring my phone completely. I've dealt with entirely too much reality this week and need to climb into a book. I fear I've already wasted a good hour of my life this week writing to the men of match. Men I'm not that interested in. Men who I will fix my hair for, feel nervous about, meet for coffee, and sit there thinking about an exit strategy. Tonight good fiction is better than poor reality.

Tea- I hope you've had a splendid birthday dreaming up the sexiest bike ever!

Adventures in dating 2 and 3

Adventure in dating #2:
Juggler asked if I want to truck on down to Pueblo to meet him. As a reader, I am certain that no good story could begin with, “He summoned her to drive down to Pueblo. She complied.” That kind of story precedes the heroic.

Adventure in dating #3:
Had coffee tonight with a construction manager. Nice guy, not into church. He swore repeatedly throughout the conversation. Even among the non-churchy, isn’t that considered uncouth for an initial encounter?

Tea—I’m feeling you on the need for space. I’m ending the weekend in serious deficit of conversations with God, exercise and reflection. I want to throw my phone out the window. Still I enjoyed the disussion of the mystery of the emergent church.

Threes Company

I admit I’ve been cool on couples lately. I’ve felt I don’t fit among their society. I got tired of events for them and losing friends to them and their comments about how their beloved is how they experience God. How they only do events together and make comments about single folk that imply a deficit in charm.

But this week I found 2 couples willing to adopt me as threes company rather than 3rd wheel. Invisible Roommate and Me Gusto had me join them for dinner on Tuesday and Me Gusto hooked up my DVD player. Then tonight the couples from work invited me to join them for group date night. White Glue and Super Clark told me I was their date, bought me dinner, and let me be the filling in their friend sandwich. I just needed to find less conventional folk to draw me into the fold.

inner rumba

In the spirit of auditioning hobbies, I let Metro talk me into ballroom dancing lessons tonight. We were the only single gals there with 4 older couples. This meant we got to foxtrot with each other and the tiny female instructor. I felt heavy, uncoordinated, and lumbering as I took broad, flat-footed steps among the bird-like returning dancers. Awkward.

Then halfway through we switched to rumba and the instructor’s husband arrived to dance with us. I relaxed as he coached me through the rumba steps of slow, quick, quick, which were surprisingly much easier than the foxtrot. When I switched to dancing with the instructor she began twisting her hips to the music, and I got it. I felt the rhythm. I stopped staring at my feet, and I found my inner rumba.

I am no bird, but maybe I could be a horse—with wings. And maybe a little rhythm.

movie scene

I relived a scene from my favorite movie, “The Joy Luck Club” tonight. Soccer Coach and I met again as friends at Nosh. I was feeling good about having a male friend. We had good conversation. I brought up dating, and he made it known he would still like to be dating me. We ordered several appetizers—most of which he ate. The check came, he put down his card, I put down mine. Then he made a huge deal about not letting me pay for the whole thing and giving me cash for slightly less than half. Thing is, I never intended to pay for more than my share. I literally had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud.

Good girl continues to date badly.

thank you for smoking

Yesterday I was feeling bad about my job and failed interventions in reshaping young lives. Today I’ve been buoyed by my beloved smokers. Two of the kids in my quit smoking group told me that the group is their favorite class. (No need to mention at the time that it’s not actually a class.) And they love each other—not that they used those words. They just find kinship in knowing others who share their vice. Now I need to find a shared hobby to replace the vice. I invited them to join me for ballroom dancing lessons on Friday jokingly, only to find several major fans of “Dancing with the Stars.” That’ll teach me not to stereotype about boys with black nail polish.

blog of joy

I found a fun guy on match who was too hard-partying for this midwestern protestant. Neither of us walked away empty-handed though. I gave him a music tip, and he gave me this little blog of joy: http://15minutelunch.blogspot.com/
See "Strap in, shut up, and hold on..."

I arrived 2 minutes late for the class I teach, and they had abandoned ship. Only 5 remained. We had a great discussion about their family stories of financial struggle. I went out tonight and bought 6 fancy cupcakes. Yes, teachers DO have favorites.

real Sunday

It was an unconventionally conventional Sunday. I had a lovely Sunday dinner with Tea’s family that actually involved a traditional meal, real china, hugging, and a real family. It was pretty remarkable from meatloaf to cake. Nice change of pace from bagels and downloading Men in Trees.

Twice today I’ve been asked to answer if I will seriously consider men who aren’t Christians. I don’t have the answer yet. Are you out there Christian men? Where do you hide?

extra few feet

Had a good coffee talk with Pass the Peace this morning. She exudes a tremendous sense of reassurance that all will be well. She also has magical mothering abilities to convince her 2-year-old boy to entertain himself happily for hours on end every day. She should hire herself out as a parent consultant.

“Sun Comes Up” by Cowboy Junkies was running through my mind all day. I felt inspired to go to a matinee by myself, buy a kid popcorn snack without getting teased, use both armrests, and leave when I thought the movie had already been about to elegantly conclude 4 times.

Tonight I kinda like the feeling of this extra few feet in my bed.

Polls are open

Tonight’s dating candidates include a 41-year-old fireman whose divorce will be finalized in 2 weeks (1 ex-wife and one child) and a hippy hydrologist who spent the last 2 years running an after-school juggling program in the 3rd world. The polls are open for your votes. No need to mention the party affiliations they represent.

I’m off to spend a rockin’ Friday night chaperoning a high school dance. Maybe the DJ will play Leonard Cohen for me.

Prizes

Today a teacher got a huge financial award from a foundation for being such a great contributor to the future. I left the award ceremony and told my science teacher friend I was definitely switching to teaching so I could be a candidate for a prize. “Yeah,” she said, “you’d pretty much have to take a bullet for someone to get a prize in your field.”

If you happened to check out Jonathan Coulton, I also highly recommend the remix of Baby Got Back.