I have this sister who a long time ago was diagnosed as bi-polar with personality disorder. The family never talked about it much. I think it was just considered a rough patch. She grew older, got married, had kids, became an accomplished mother, and dabbled in being a Lutheran. I believed all was well and would be well.
Then I went to visit her. I saw how much anger she has towards my parents. I saw her using her children to meet her emotional needs and telling them she never wanted them to leave her. I heard the beliefs that she had been brainwashed by the church (think your average suburban corporate standard youth group). Anger towards the alumni association, Chinese bike manufacturers, my too-easy career, not being raised to be practical or good at fixing hair. The list goes on.
I read an article about bi-polar children seeing photos of people with neutral facial expressions and believing the subjects are angry. Is this how Lillith sees the world? Have I been thinking her issues were about maturity and not realizing her issues are permanent ones I have to accept? Forever?
What is the compassionate thing to do? Hold expectations of her as an adult or let her off the hook for an illness the family never speaks about?
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