Liberal arts disadvantaged

It's Friday night and getting ready to leave the house I was once again confronted by the disadvantage of my liberal arts education. I've reaped the benefits of my years at Calvin. I understand basic theology and the reformed world view. Grad school was an academically painless downhill ride. I know where to find good clogs, coffee, and music. I can make homemade granola and bread. I'm comfortable with a range of literature and classical music. Public television and radio are my friends.

My lack arises when it's a Friday night and time to "go out." At Calvin we went out to the library, the Meijer, the coffee house, and the sled hill. None of these events involved cleavage. Ever.

Now that the Bar Prophet has spoken, I feel like I should attempt making appearances at bars. My wardrobe is no help here. Nothing high, tight, or low enough.

I started understanding this liberal arts problem when my brother left the fraternity land of Baylor with its pink oxfords and fake nails to settle into law school at Notre Dame. He swore off dating for 3 years complaining that, "as soon as it snows the girls here put on sweats and wear them ALL winter." He was appalled. He would be better than I am at putting together the "going out" wardrobe I need. I am lost here.