rouge counselor

I was thinking thoughts that could get me kicked out of my own profession last night. I was doubting counseling. I decided to see a counselor and was very excited about this--someone to open me up like a book and read me and help me choose my own adventure. Over Christmas I carried around these huge questions that I thought counseling could answer. Instead of making a Christmas chain to count the days until presents, I wanted a chain to count the days until enlightenment.

Then I went last night and found the emptiness and boredom of just trying to explain who I am. Then having light shed on how I'm messed up, my ambivalence about love, and how hard I am to read. Given things to think about. Chances are that when you give me something to think about, I've not only pondered it-- I've obsessed over it.

What I really need in my life is a pray-er. Does anyone hire themselves out to do that? I don't want to get in touch with my logic, inner child, wounded nightmare of a personality. I want to touch the divine. Let me know if you have references for that.

Joanne- welcome to the blogdom! Olive- welcome back--your pictures and thoughts were missed!