The Company of Books

I've opted out of writing lately because I don't have time. I've been working 12-14 hour days, trying to squeeze in workouts, and living such a physical life that there's been no leisure for reflection. I got a much-needed hiatus when I was given last minute notice, and shipped off to Korea for 2 weeks of chemical-biological-nuclear-radioactive defense training. It doesn't sound like a breezy topic, but living in a hotel room alone with a mere 5 hours of class a day has been such a welcome change that I just want to stay here and not graduate tomorrow.

The only little glitch is that I'm alone here. No friends at my hotel. My soldiers are in barracks on the other side of the base. Which has given me time to time and made me seek out the companionship of books and stories. I read Craving Grace these last few days and found the friend I needed. I read Jennifer share about the long prayed-for romance in her life, and the rancher she's going to marry. I catch up on the stories and reflections that Stephers shares from life back home. I think maybe because I don't have Christian community here, I ought to write something back in case someone else needs a friend in words.

Bits from someone trying to think again: 1. An author gave me the permission to dream. I spent a day doing that without editing or being realistic. With a magazine and candle and cheap spa masks. That was a good day. 2. Trying to have a perfect body is exhausting. I will never have enough time or money or access to weird ingredients. It's better to idealize someone liking my body the way it is (and keep doing P90X). 3. Grace is so tricky because we can't control it by being good or striving after it. It just happens. 4. No random nice man I date can fill the hole of wanting a Christian man. This makes me feel incredibly ungrateful and inept and powerless. I want to want what's available. 5. Hazel may need her own facebook page because facebook is so helpful but also voyeuristic and freaky.